A Little Princess

                     Before I start anything, I must say, ” I love Jesus, I do! Very much!”

                     Today is Sunday and it’s the day of the LORD.

                     But I am in the city of my uncle’s home and my local church is thousands of miles away, shall I go to a public church?

                     If it is just going to church, I guess I would not, but it’s not. It’s worshiping Papa! And, the cross attracts me, always. Churches atttract me because I know where I should be. A day in Papa’s temple is better than a thousand days somewhere else!

                      So, 6:30 am, my cell phone rang and it’s the alarm clock.

                      I thanked Papa for a new day and I prayed for every one on the brim of falling back to dreams again.

                      But like 30 mins later, still in bed, I thought,  ”Daddy God, shall I go to church today? I guess, I can stay at home and pray for my fellow brothers and sisters in Beijing. Right?Don’t you think so?…Um, you know it’s cold outside. It might be rainy too. Anyway, we do not favor much the public church, right?…I am so tired…Maybe I need some more sleep. I know you will not blame me if I choose to stay at home, for what if daddy and mommy call and find that I am not at home but in church? What if my cousin wants to spend Sunday morning with me? O, LORD, why am I not eager to go to church anymore? I used to long for your house! LORD, please attract me and draw me near to you, for if you do not, what can I do? O, LORD, please tell me and speak to my heart and let me go. For I know you’ll always embrace me with grace when I go and seek you. Remember the service in Hangzhou last summer? You blessed me so much and your presecen was so obvious. I miss those days and I miss being thirsty for you and crazy about you. O, LORD, I want to love you but I don’t want to get out of bed. And, LORD…”

                  Suddenly, the bus passing by broadcast, “No.?( I did not catch the number), leaving for Yaohan shopping mall (八佰伴 in Chinese)…” Wow, it’s the bus to church. The church is right beside Yaohan shopping mall!

                 “Well, it’s just the bus, you know.” The flesh me said.

                 ”But it’s the bus to church!” The spirit me.

                 “Just sleep.” said flesh me.

                 “OK…”the spirit me got sleepy.

                 Again, in a loud voice, another bus passing by broadcast, “No.?( still missed the number), leaving for Yaohan shopping mall…”

                  “OK, Daddy God, let’s not miss the bus!”

                  8:00 a.m in the morning, I got out of bed quickly, finding the way to get myself ready for church! At least, I took a shower last night! And I am clean for church^^

                 8:38 a.m, I was already out of the house and on my way to church. I love the morning and I love being out! Especially out for church! I was so happy that I thought I was the luckiest and happiest girl in the whole world. It’s like a date, you know, dating Papa^^

                ” I don’t know what I am going to encounter today, Papa, but I know you will give me surprises and you will show me you are the loving and amazing Papa who loves me and sometimes spoils me. I know I will step into your grace even though I do not see it now.” bearing these exciting thoughts, I was ready to cross the street and reach the bus stop.

                  Splash!

                  Oops, I stepped into a muddy puddle! My boots and my stockings, o, no, I got mud everywhere. ” How can I get into church with mud all over?”"Well, Papa, you will still welcome me right? At least, I got something from the nature^^I love nature! And, a little bit of mud makes me special^^If you don’t mind, I would not mind at all!”

                  But, I forgot to bring any Kleenex. “Anyway, we will find some”, thinking about how to wipe my boots clean, I was already near the bus stop.

                 No.53! I guessed it was the bus I was supposed to take to church but I was not sure. Anyway, I runned toward it and then I saw it drive away.

                 Yep, No. 53, this is the bus I was supposed to take as what I discovered a weenie bit long later at the bus stop.

                 Next bus would arrive in 8-12 mins according to the usual schedule and I thought I was already late for the church.

                ” Come on, Daddy God, your favor is always with me, then how could you possibly let me miss the bus in such a near reach? I do not believe this. If you allow me to miss a bus, you allow me to miss it for a good reason and I know you will provide for your Lisa a way to church on time. Or, maybe, the service starts late since I myself do not know when it is.? Ok, no matter what, let’s just wait patiently and pray. I can pray for this city, right?^^”
                Just as I finished my inner coversation with Papa and started to think about what to pray for this city, another No.53 bus arrived unexpectedly and it was almost empty. LOL, Papa is always soooo good and kind to His little girl! The previous bus was stuffed with people!

                Jumping on the bus and picking a seat,  I started to text messages to people who might wonder where I was and what I was doing. I sent a message to my cousin and told her that I love her though I told her that I was going to church earlier when I left home. Then I saw that the battery of my cell phone was low and it was almost dying. Whatever, I would not use it in church.

               As I was texting the messages, I missed the bus stop I was supposed to get off. “No way, it can’t be true!” I thought, “but maybe the next stop is nearer to the church^^”. Seeing the church pass by, I came to the terminal  of the route and got off just at the back of the church. It is indeed nearer.

                  Hallelujah! “Daddy God, I am here and I am gonna run into your house!” As I was running merrily and eagerly, a man stopped me. “Not this way? “I thought. But he pointed somewhere and when I turned round, I saw the beautiful all-white shawl my most beloved professor brought to me from Nepal was left in another muddy puddle.

                  “No! Ah, my shawl…”

                  Anyway, it was still beautiful and I don’t mind wearing a shawl with some muddy spots.I can dry clean it later, right? Again, it makes it more natural. In fact, I should praise Papa that I did not lose it^^

                 As long as I am near to Papa, nothing should spoil my mood!

                 But look, it seemed that the service had just finished!

                 No worry, we could wait for the next if it existed.

                 I inquired a nice lady in front of the church, ” Excuse me, could you please tell me when is the next service?”

                 “It’s 9:40, sweetheart and it’s in English.” The nice lady responded.

                 ”What? In English? I never expected an English service. O my Daddy God, you are so great! And I know you will surprise me! I never knew there was an English service. I did not even know how many services they held every Sunday and when, but here I am to join an English service! I must share it on my blog later!” I exclaimed in my heart.

                  “Thank you, but where can I buy a Bible please?” I asked the nice lady again, for I wanted to buy a mini Bible.

                  “It’s over there in the hut, honey, but an American will ask the first comers in the end of the service and give each of them a Bible for free.” Replied the lady.

                  A-ha, am I the luckiest one in the world?

                  After saying goodbye to that lady, I decided to find something to eat because I did not have my breakfast yet in fear of being late, though I noticed there were a lot of bread at the door of uncle’s house .

                  There was a MCDonald’s on the other side of the street and I was there before. I got into the fast food store, ordered my breakfast and seated myself by the window. I enjoyed it, a lot. It was a beautiful and nice city. The waitress gave me a magical straw and I found a coupon in it which means I would get another potato pie for free the next time I have breakfast in MCDonald’s. I seldom won things like this, you know. Papa indeed loves me and actually I knew He would reward me before I got the coupon out of the straw.

                  After having breakfast, I got some paper napkins and thus cleansed my boots. Praise Papa, He will always provide^^

                  Stepping into the church, I tried to find a seat in the front but it seemed that every seat had been occupied. Then a lady came over and ushered me into a pew in the front. Soon, some other ladies joined me. I noticed they brought Korean Bibles. I talked with an old lady before the service but it seemed that she did not like my interruption. Anyway, the interesting thing is that when we started to talk, everybody around started to say hello to us and the two in front smiled back at me. It’s so good^^We are family, then why don’t we talk? Anyway, I know I should fear the LORD in His temple.

                   The service was good. We read the verses I needed so badly and it gave me much warning and encouragement. We praised the LORD in English as well as in Chinese. I only knew one song during the worship, but I love singing to the LORD. They got interpretors too and one of them is really sweet and good. I want to make myself known to her next time, for I myself want to be an interpreter like that!

               I praised, listened, got blessed and took notes. They had altar call and I saw a lot of people standing up! I was glad and after the service, I decided to say something to the Korean lady beside me cause I noticed that it seemed that she does not understand Chinese or English much. I said to her,

                      ” I want to say a sentence to you, may I?”

                      She nodded and I went, ” Halanilun Tangxinnen Sallang hamida (which is God Loves You in Korean.)”

                      She was so moved and gave me a big but sweet hug. She patted me on my face gently and took my hands, asking, ” Tell me, are you a Chinese Korean too? ”

                      “No, but an important lady in my life is Korean.” I said.

                      “Well, please tell me, how long have you been a Christian and does the Paul mentioned in the sermon have another name?” The lady went on.

                      ” I’ve been a Christian for like 6 years, Ma’am. And Paul used to be called Saul.” I answered the lady.

                      She seemed very happy and said goodbye to me in excitement.

                      I blessed the other lady sitting next to me and she blessed me in return. I also went up and told the worship leaders that I enjoyed the service and they did a good job. One of them was obviously encouraged and I praise Papa for giving me sweet words to say and courage to say it! I looked for the sweet interpretress but I could not find her. Maybe I’ll see her next time.

                         I did not get the free Bible, for I thought I should leave the Bibles to those who do not have any since I’ve already had three Chinese-English Bibles. And I know, if Papa wants to bless me with a Bible, He will,  because He blessed me with all the three Bibles.

                         Out of the church, I met two beggars and I gave each of them some money. I asked whether they were in the church, they said yes. But I really feel sorry that they long for money more than they long for Papa. But I know I should not judge. Therefore, even though I almost regretted that  I gave them money, I knew Papa would deal with us justly. I do what He asks me to do and He will take care of others.

                        As Jesus said, ” Sell all you have and give the money to the poor. You should follow me.”

                       Yes Lord, I should follow you and I am following^^

                        Here in another city I worshiped the LORD and here I was blessed, aboundantly. Hope you guys had a wonderful and nice Sunday too! God bless~Love you~!

             Papa, I am back…

             In Jesus’ name, Amen~!

                Undoubtedly, Lizzie is her papa’s favorite.

               So, when she declined her cousin’s proposal and got herself into trouble with her mom, papa said,” Your mother would not speak to you if you do not accept your cousin, but I would not speak to you if you do.”

                Papa loves Lizzie so much that when Mr. Darcy came to ask for the consent over his marriage with Lizzie, Lizzie’s papa said, ” I never thought there would be a young man who deserves you. But I was wrong, wasn’t I? Do you really like him? ” When Lizzie replied, ” I do, papa, I do, I LOVE him…”, Mr. Bennette was in  tears. He was  so happy that his little one found her true happiness.

                 So, I guess, Papa loves His little Lisa too. He loves Lisa as Mr. Bennette loved Lizzie and He would never marry His beloved child to a person who is less worthy. He will marry her to the best and He will be happy to see her get married with the right person who can make her happy beyong meausre^^

                  Papa is sweet^^

                  Day 2 of my vacation.

                  Laundry done.

                 It did not take me as much trouble as I had imagined. Actually, it never caused me much trouble. I just don’t like the idea of doing laundry. But I love doing laundry^^

                  Nice lunch with uncle and his friends.

                  I love English. I do.

                  So, I decided to watch a movie or read something.

                  At last, I picked the movie.

                 Ok, I don’t like this kind of plain tone. I love being cheering^^

                Then, I downloaded “You’ve God Mail” and I think I enjoyed it~

                Well, Meg Ryan is cute. And the heroine she was playing was cute too. She owned a book store and she never said anything bad when she was angry. I like that part. And, she never thought too bad about anybody. She is like an angel. She loves Pride and Prejudice too. I guess, maybe every girl likes Pride and Prejudice. At least, I do.

                 The story is not bad. And it’s a kind of blend. A blend of two of my favorite stories:Daddy Long-legs & Pride and Prejudice.

                 Can I say a mean thing? Joe Fox should have changed before they met at last!

                  And, the most touching words are “I wanted it to be you, I wanted it to be you so badly.”

                  Joe Fox is a smart man^^He finally got to know what he was really looking for. I was just wondering why his father did not marry a girl like Catherina. I think every man should be wise enough to marry a girl like her. Well, then I know, he just did not get the luck. Hehheh

                   That’s true, not everybody got the luck to run into a girl like Catherina.

                Happy time with everybody, but I guess I am a bit tired.

                I so want to have a thorough rest.

                Papa’s Lisa needs a sleep, some quiet time and some peaceful reading time.

                Papa’s Lisa needs to be recharged with Papa’s words and she wants to spend more time with Papa and search for the beauty of Him^^

                Papa’s Lisa needs a retreat.

                Papa’s Lisa wants to be silent.

                 Hallelujha! I love my God^^

                 very very much!

                 Ready go!

                 Fully committed and all surrender! Only Jesus!

                 For Papa’s glory~!

              When we have little, we always desire much.

              But gradually, I realized that I never really desired anything.

              What we desired actually are what this world expected.

              If you have the whole world, if you are the prince or the princess of the richest kingdom in the whole universe, what would you want to do and what would you want? I mean, usually, when a person got everything he wants, he gets lost at the same time too. If he does not know God yet he has everything, he will be so lost that he does not know what else to desire.

               Desire is the very reason we do things and we carry things on. If we do not desire, how are we supposed to accomplish anything? No desire, no satisfaction. So, praise God, that He has set up an ultimate desire in us.

                I never desired anything much. I mean, if I really desire one thing, I will devote all my life to it; I will work so hard to get it in spite of anything. If I desired a nice university much, I would have been in it or still working hard for it; if I have desired a certain boy so much, I would have been in another country or trying to get to that country; if I desired to be a super good interpreter, I would have already been one. No, I have never desired anything that much and that’s why I still don’t have these things.

              Indeed, for those I really desired, I have already had and these desires were actually granted by those who love me most and know me much, my parents , my dear mama bear and most importantly, my God. In fact, I guess only He knows what I desires.

             At the beginning of this year, I thought I finally figured out who I treasured and loved most in my life besides my parents and I had such a strong desire to visit them as soon as possible. I cried to Papa that I wanted to see them and I cried to Him that I ony needed to see them. And then, Papa made a way for me. My beloved spiritual parents called and invited me over to discuss about my future study. What a great opportunity! Certainly, I would go. Then, I asked Papa for finacial support. He said yes immediately and I got the money to go. But then, it’s the school. I had to ask for a leave from the school and I was afraid to do so since I am afraid of talking with school leaders.  So, I almost gave up. Then, I wondered,” Is this all that my desire for them can carry me through?” I thought about it, felt sorry to let my spiritual mom down and then finally I got the courage to go and ask for a leave. Guess what, my parents, my advisor, my department leader all said yes!!!I got the passes. I am like a princess who got enough money to fly to the city she desired so much to visit the people she has such a strong desire for! I can go in any minute. I mean, really any minute. But then, I paused and hesitated. I find that my desire can only carry me this far. But when I got everything ready, it seemed that I had no very sepcial reason to do it. I mean, I don’t see Papa’s special will in it. It is my desire, and I know Papa is granting this for me, but I don’t want a treat. I want Papa’s will. If He has no special will for me in it, I would not go. Even though I got everyting ready.

                 And, for the first time in my life, I realized that, I desired nothing but Jesus. He is my only desire. The only one I desired with all my life. The only one I so want to be with and the only one that I can not live without. My desire is in Him~Surely, I desire my parents too^^For they are the desires Papa has placed in my life!

                Hooray! I love Jesus!

                      When Joram saw Jehu, he said, “Is it peace, Jehu?” He answered, “What peace can there be, so long as the many whoredoms and sorceries of your mother Jezebel continue?” (2 Kings9:22)

                   I suddenly noticed this verse at the beginning of this year and got noted that what a mother did, or what a wife of a house did, influenced that house much.

                  Most of the idols of Israel were brought in by the kings’ foreign wives and there seemed to be no such a case that a king would not be led away by a treachrous wife.

                   And certainly, the mother’s way would influence the children a lot. If a wife worship an idol at home, both of the husband and the children will be influenced.

                   At first, I took it as a warning for my mom. But later today, I realized that it was also a warning for me. I myself have things which need to be removed away from my life. I don’t want to bring my sins into my marriage that I might influence my future husband’s life; I don’t want to bring my sins into my marriage that they might be a snare to my children. No, I don’t. So, I need to be cleansed.

                 Didn’t Jesus cleanse us once for all? Yes, he did and that’s why we have hope. But some healings need to be done and some places need to be restored. LORD, may you restore me and make me clean.

                 I always wonder how should I prepare for my marriage.

                 At least, now , I got a point. I want to be a blessing to my future husband, so I’d better cleans up my acts and wait upon God patiently.

                  And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.” (John 8:11)

                  I can’t believe that after so many changes and healings, and after so many days of divine love, I sinned again.

                  I sinned deliberately.

                  I knew it was sinful, yet still I did it.

                  I knew it was a pit, yet, I stepped into it and got ensnared.

                  I did not resist the evil when I could.

                  And then, once again, I realized how weak I am.

                  Yes, I am a person in great need of Jesus.

                   Without him, I will be so ensnared by all kinds of sins.

                    Without him, I have no hope.

                    I am a sinner, LORD, yes, I am a sinful person.

                    Without your healing, how terrible my life could have been!

                     You do not remember the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways.

                     You forgive my iniquity though it is great.

                      You lifted me up from the dust and delivered me away from the valley of death.

                       LORD, please hold me tight so that I will not fall down or stumble.

                       Please raise me up and take me where you want me to be.

                      Please do not forsake me, for your love never fails.

                      Yes, we look upon you.

                       Let me fear you.

                      In Jesus’ precious name, Amen~!

                     I guess, for too often, I acted like a spoiled child and forgot that my daddy God set up a convenant with us. My daddy God favors no evil, and I don’t want to hurt Him. No, I don’t. I am sorry. Please heal me, LORD.

                     Redeem Israel, O LORD

                     from all their troubles. (Psalms 25:22)

                    Merry Christmas!

                    What do you want for your Christmas?

                    All I want is Jesus Christ! ^^